What Friends Are For
See "From Where I Sit"
in Quest, May-June 2005, for some other comments on the importance of MDA
support groups to teens
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| Erin Kiernan |
Life Lessons Learned
by Erin Kieran
I’m a sophomore in high school, and use a power wheelchair
almost full-time. I’m grateful to be a social person and a straight-A
honor student.
Being social isn’t the problem; it’s that I never
seem to find the right crowd. It’s very hard, especially in high school,
to find people your age that can look past your chair and see you. Many people
are scared of the chair. They think it means you’re mentally retarded, or
they think it is "so cool," and that is all they think about you. At
school, no one bothers to get to know you unless you bother to get to know
them. That’s a life lesson I learned in the MDA teen support group,
Baltimore district.
I know school is a difficult place to gain a social life, but
try, try again, and you will succeed; this is a corny saying, but it’s
true. There’s no use hiding when life is tough; if you do, you’ll
have no life to experience. I learned about life from the death of one of my
best friends, Mattie J.T. Stepanek (who died in 2004 from a rare form of
muscular dystrophy; Mattie was MDA’s National Goodwill Ambassador).
I’m still recovering from Mattie’s death, but I never
would have started recovering if my teen group wasn't there to support me every
step of the way. That’s what a teen group is, people who support you
through life’s roads, whether rocky or flat. My group talks about
teen-related issues, problems or just anything going on our lives. We have
games and fun activities, too. But anything is fun as long as your friends are
there.
Teen groups rock. I suggest a teen group for every teen with a
disability. Always remember that friendships and social lives are for everyone,
including those with disabilities.
Erin Kiernan, 16, lives in Mt. Airy, Md., and is MDA’s
Goodwill Ambassador for Maryland. She has Friedreich’s ataxia.
Parents, Children and 'Affairs of the Heart'
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| Zach Brothers |
by Joan Brothers
Although my son, Zach, is well-known and liked around our
community, he hasn’t had many opportunities to socialize with peers. The
range of developmental disabilities in his classroom doesn’t lend itself
to "hanging out with friends." But Zach would love to hang out, go to
the movies, mall, bowling, etc., and it’s been very lonely for him.
The monthly MDA teen group has provided Zach with something to
look forward to -- a place to be with youth his age without his parents always
hanging around. Teen group has given Zach more confidence about being in groups
without his parents or teachers, and he’s become more independent and
involved in planning his own social calendar.
Teen group has been good for me, too. I enjoy talking to other
parents while waiting to pick him up. I’ve always had Zach’s
interests first and foremost in my heart. I’ve taken him to the best
doctors, volunteered in his schools, spent many, many sleepless nights taking
care of him, tried to help him feel terrific about himself, and done just about
anything in the world to make him happy. But affairs of the heart are a
different matter. That’s something that a parent just can’t do for
a child.
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| Zach and his date getting ready to leave for his
senior prom. |
Having a friend is tough in the mainstream world. Add a physical
or mental disability, or both, and you have an almost impossible task. But the
MDA teen group monthly meetings help to make it better and for that I’m
extremely grateful.
Joan Brothers lives in Finksburg, Md. with her husband, Alan, and
two children, Lindsey and Zachary. Zach, 20, has myotonic dystrophy.
See also:
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