Eulogies for Mattie

Jann Carl's Eulogy for Mattie Stepanek
Delivered at Mattie's funeral service June 28, 2004

In 2002, Jerry Lewis wrote these words:

"In my 71 years as an entertainer, I've been blessed to know many great people, from physicians, to scientists, to performers, to world leaders who had tremendous passion about what they did. When it comes to brilliance and accomplishment and creativity I thought I had pretty much seen it all. Then sometime last year I was given a book called Heartsongs by a young person named Mattie Stepanek."

That was the beginning of an eternal friendship between Jerry Lewis and Mattie Stepanek. As many of you know, Jerry has been struggling with health issues and he was unable to travel to be with us today. But he has written something and asked me to share it with all of you.

"Ode To Mattie"
Mattie is gone.
And so is my spirit
A piece of my heart feels gone as well.
How do we fill that void?
How do we tell our emotional
System it will recover.
Maybe it will, but it will never be the same.
How do we go on without Mattie's presence?
We have to.
And we'll probably be all right if we carry what Mattie was
And what he believed the world was all about,
If we follow his understanding about life and love
We can't go wrong.(And the child shall lead us)
Goodbye Mattie, my friend, and young champion.
I will miss you very much.
And this Labor Day will be your day, Mattie,
And I will keep you in the forefront of my mind to get
The money to help so many other kids just like you.
I love you my friend,
I'll be seeing you...

Jerry's line "a piece of my heart feels gone as well" made me think of Mattie's poem "First Anniversary Prayer." A part of that poem reads:

My Heartsong felt so sad that
It crumbled into little pieces.
And Now, I am so Sad.
But even though my heart is broken,
I still have all the pieces inside, and
I can put them back together again.

You know, as I think about those words that Mattie wrote, I smile and I shake my head because he left us a blueprint. He left us a detailed map, step-by-step instructions, to not only mend our broken Heartsongs, but to make the world a better and more peaceful place in the process.

Mattie called memories "a great gift". I think some of the shattered pieces of my heart will come back together when I let my memories of Mattie flow freely.

That sparkle in his eye. That innocent, yet mischievous grin. Simply the way he would push his glasses back to the bridge of his nose. Memories of the long and loving looks, often across very crowded rooms, between Jeni and Mattie, and Mattie and Jeni. My forever memory, that Mattie became my daughter's first crush and how those two created quite a scene when a security guard yelled at them in the parking lot of CBS during the middle of the Telethon broadcast. With Katherine in his lap and Mattie breaking all ground speed records, the security guard was sure they would get run over. Jeni, with her ever-watchful eye, assured me that they hadn't been in any real danger. In fact, it was the Telethon cars and limos and shuttle buses in danger of those two running over them.

I think, in addition to memories, another part of Mattie's heart-healing blueprint is of course playing. Could he not turn us almost instantly into wonderful, playful children? Laughing, celebrating life, being downright irreverent at times - "Can I say 'fart machine' today?"

And from that playful child state, he put us in a frame of mind that brought back a touch of innocence in all of us. And from that innocence, hope. And from hope, the illusive peace.

I will keep putting the pieces of my heart together by following Mattie's call to action. When Mattie's poems are read, those actions are quite clear: Share kind thought, words and deeds; always forgive; let us think gently, speak gently, live gently; be patient with yourself and others; be good everywhere you are and go; practice flowing thoughtfulness; never give up in things that matter; and always and always and always believe in the Light and the angels.

Finally, I had never met anyone that I thought had possibly lived on this earth before, but that's what I felt when I met Mattie. I had never met anyone before that I thought God had given back to Earth. But that's what I felt when I met Mattie. I had never met anyone before that I thought was a real angel. I don't think I even really believed in earth-bound angels. Then I met Mattie.

After leaving this huge imprint on us, how do we now repair our crumbled hearts? Recall his memories often, play, and then play some more, practice peace. With the tools that Mattie himself gave each and every one of us, our Heartsongs will be whole again.

Thank you Mattie. We love you.